love, in many ways makes me go crazy!



just read a friend of mine blog. a christian like me. gave up or as in, pause her BGR to grow in the Lord more. i adore her. the way she's able to give up a man for the Lord and how much she is resting in Christ to get over the real bad heartache.


clapclap. amazing!



next, you must be thinking. ARE YOU GOING TO TRY THIS OUT?!



i bet gabrielsoh's heart skipped three beats after he saw this, must be thinking "not that drama AGAIN?!"



no worries. breathe.



i was truly amazed, but since i dont particularly know that girl well, i wouldnt know if she's growing much faster in Christ.


but. i felt that, today.



i know that my God still loves me even though i'm different from the majority in youth church. as in, i'm attached. i'm attached doesnt makes God loves me any lesser or not bless me more like others.


i hate it when i goes to church and have the thought that, " i dont love God whole-heartedly, and i have a bf! (YAY!)" okay, i hate that thought. it has always been there since i've started off. and, i couldnt cross that thing in my heart. i dont know what is it. but all i knew was, i can bring the whole world as in everyone to church, except for my own bf. and, the problem lies in me.


i felt condemn, but today, i'm free from this condemation. amen!


finally, i realised, God doesnt loves me any lesser. as in, i knew it from the start, but finally, the seed in my heart springs forth.


in fact, sometimes, i feel that. it is because of this, then i know that how much God loves me and had loved him more since then. each time i go back to church after a long break, i felt so loved, so much more than the previous times.



its just like God telling me, He was still there with me even when i forgot about the fact that He'll always be by my side, He still remembers me. i love the truth that, when i smile, He smiles with me and when i cry, He cries with me by my side too.


He wouldnt want to see me sad right. stand in a position of parents, if your daughter comes home telling you that her bf ditched her, and she broke down infront of you in tears. i will find myself, giving her the tightest hug, whisper in her ear, "everything is going to be fine" and curse this in my heart, "you jerk, its your lost lah, nabei, i'm going to kick your dick next time i see you". and next, cry with her. it will painful for a parent to see his/her child in tears, what more about the God that loves me so much more.


Even if i were to go the wrong way in life, God being God has His ways of being me back on track. and most importantly, letting me know about how much He loves me even when i was such a bitch.

its not about how much i love Him. but how much He loved me. being a human. my love for God can never never never compare to His love for me. i might not love Him whole-heartedly, and sometimes even doubt my love for God. but now. i know that, He stands a big part in my life, so much so that He is everything. without Him, where will i be in this world? or might not even be alive at this moment.


and i know, i loved God so much more today as compared to 3 years ago, seen my life transformed and now, still changing for the better.
i am moving from glory to glory, because He loves me. and His love is still the same, yesterday, today and forever. He still loved me no matter what, and, He gave His son for me. thank you Jesus.



i enjoy serving Him, i enjoy being in His presence and had awesome nights talking to God before i sleep. and i'm always very very well rested each time i spoke to Him before i sleep. and, i even find myself forcing myself to go to church when i really dont want to.

and i dont mind hosting pre-service games, because i know, God is hosting it for me. i never knew i could have the courage to go up in front of all His children and anchor the pre-service games.


from now! i'm going to open up my vessels and allow God to fill me up so much so that i overflows into the lives of thousandssssss and! let go and let God make full use of me, my life.



so, now. life is really awesome for me, even when there are some weird things going on in class or even the sickening tutorials. life rocks man, because Jesus gave His life for me.



now! i promise myself, i'll never do stupid things to make myself emo. because i treasure each moment, for it is a gift from God.


so are my family, friends and gabriel soh.




i promise i'm never going to let go, unless God tells me in my face to.







i thank God that i feel so bless right now. PRAISE GOD!
byebye and goodnight.







chubby gabriel soh is turning 21 soon! (:



Jesus, i will go to the ends of the earth, for You.