well, i think there's a need to blog to clarify, before gab's classmates thinks i'm totally obsessed with him or something, or some girl that keeps stalking him.
i had been having sleepless nights lately, and i have no idea why is there a sudden change. i loveeee to sleep! but God! i cant sleep recently!
yesterday night was totally bad. i was bothered by some bothering things haunting my mind totally. and thus, causing me to stay awake for the whole night. i dont know, but. my head just seem so heavy, many thoughts just ran and ran and ran through my mind.
i just feel totally horrible, terrible, vegetable. -.- okay, cut that out.
so, being at my mum's place where everyone is in their deep sleep, yet, i'm there struggling to go to sleep. well, at that moment, i feel that i'm going to scream till i wake the whole block of people up and take a knife and stab every single one that comes my way. horrible.
so, i decided to leave there, i went to take a bath and took cab to SP.
its suppose to take me great courage to step out of my house at such early hours, take the lift and walk out of such ulu place. but, the thought just kept me so occupied and down that i think even if i were to see something that i wasnt suppose to, i'll just walk away.
but something to scare me, the cab driver. just as i step out of my block, at the corner of my eye, i saw a car just started driving out. and it was a cab! being lazy to drag my feet out of that ulu place, i decided to just board this cab.
but! as i board the cab. somehow, i think that uncle looks weird! i told uncle my destination and realise that he's going towards a direction that i'm unsure of. i asked him which way is he going and start looking out for road signs, thank you for the blood of Jesus that really protected me.
when i finally reached SP. i walked up and look for gab, i gave him a call. but, it just shows how bothered am i by my thoughts that i didnt even care about walking in SP alone, without any human being in sight. i was amazed by what i did.
then, i just remembered, while i was bathing, i took a look at myself in the mirror. it was to my horror that i thought i saw a ghost. -.-
crap, it was just me, looking so freaking pale with dark dark dark dark DARK circles. B O O is what i can say. i think if i were to see a real ghost, i'll just find that it looks familiar cause i just saw one this morning.
okay, so i met gab and i didnt really want to go up to MUG at moberly cause, he's classmates are there and i dont want to look like some horrible walking zombie. but, eventually i went up. i thought i could win the most look-alike gothic competition, with my pale face, black hair, dark circles and black nails. well, i think those are already good enough to win the competition.
so, this is the reason why, i came to school so early, simply because. i'm not feeling very right, therefore i cant sleep for the whole night, and i feel that i need to go out and take a walk, and! i needed someone to be there beside me.
yup; i'm so glad that i'm done with these. i dont know, but, i still dont feel right about the thoughts that i have. it just seemed to be bothering me, for years. since young. but, i just feel so helpless.
good day people, i hope, you get to enjoy my share of happiness today, because i gave it all away..
Daddy, talk to me. bring me out of these and thank you.
With love,
Evelyn.