home, didnt felt the same like before.
ever since she knew about us.
i came home yesterday, and i took a bath in the shortest time possible. and the next thing i know. i'm on my bed. pretending to be asleep.
today i came home. she starts talking and talking when i still have my footwear on. and the next thing i know. i'm sitting on my toilet bowl, for the longest time possible. finally, i came out. went to my brother's room, waited for a while and off to bathe.
i didnt feel cosy and loved like i always do, okay. most of the time cause i love my bed. and now, everything seems different.
i want my home like before. i want my relationship with ah ma like before, where at least, i dare to face her, at least she'll talk to me about television shows.
emo is the word recently, because things dont seem to be right.
i'm tired of these craps.
but Daddy is still good to me and i know it. cause He makes me smile even with the slightest thing.
again, my mum. she touches my heart. i really thank God. for her. for all her love, care, concern, craps, nags. she never fails to think of my happiness, she never fails to be worried for me. even when i drop a tiny little drop of tear, she'll worry if im okay. and i know, she cares.
when i told her that home is like prison, she wants me to look at the brighter side of life. and i know, she cares.
when i told her that i'm attached, she reminds me to be careful. and i know, she cares.
when i told her that i'm going for camp, she calls to remind me to drink lots of water. and i know, she cares.
when i told her that no one trusts me at home, she tells me that she do and she believes in my words. and i know, she loves me.
she loved me, unconditionally, and now, she loves me, unconditionally, and tomorrow, she'll love me, unconditionally. how bless am i to have her. how bless am i to have such young and understanding mummy. she knows what im going through, because she went through it personally. i may be going through what she had went through, but its different. i am, really am, much more bless than she is. because, i'm going through this, with her support, while, she was. alone.
she had a boyfriend around my age, she didnt tell grandma, and had to lie to her where ever she went. and i'm glad. i dont have to and i'm sure, she doesnt want me to lie to her.
she had been through so much hard times. having to go out and work since young, restrictions from my grandma. but, she's still strong.
i dare say, out of my aunties and uncle. my mummy is the one who works hard, take care of nasty children like us, and. she tries her best to make ah ma happy. but all she got from grandma, was nasty words and more nasty words. my grandma is always complaining to her eldest daughter about my mummy, and what i could do was to sit there pretending that i'm really busy with my lap top.
my grandma's second daughter had been giving grandma many many problems, made her cried many many times. so?.
my mummy was the one who took care of her sister's three children, not one, not two. BUT THREE. wake up! its three. its double of what she should be taking care of. by this age, although still 43, she should be enjoying life, free from taking care of children! because the youngest me, is already 17. she dont need to worry about, ya what if she didnt eat? she dont need to worry about it anymore! cause i do take care of myself. but because of her sister. she needs to take care additional 3. -.-
and what does grandma's eldest daughter does? marries a rich man and off she goes. she dont have the ability or even the say that she wants to help my mummy take care of one of them, and i doubt she wants. and! my grandma is complaining about my mummy. tell me. what did she do wrong?
i believe, she dropped more tears than i did, cause life have been hard on her. imagine the day she broke up with her boyfriend, and she comes home, my grandma starts nagging at her once again, and she still need to continue to do all the housework. i believe, all she could do was to lie on her mattress and weep softly. and now, even if she's upset. all she could do is to weep softly again. because she wants to appear strong in front of us and want us to be like her.
i never knew how great she was, but now i know. she had been great to me, and never will i want her to cry again. may be she will. but, i'll go up to her, tell her i love her and sit there and cry with her.
i thank God, for awesome mummy, He really really replaced my earthly daddy with an awesome mummy, she is much much more than double portion.
and i thank God, for gabriel soh.
good night people. and i believe, even if you dont have caring mummy like me, there'll be some one in your life that cares for you so much like my mum cares for me. because, God is good.
Daddy, You'll see me through these times, mummy and gab is also here with me. friends are here with me, and You'll make my home feel like home once again. and, i know, i'll make it through, because of You. Daddy, if my mummy loves me this much, You love me much much much much more than what she loves me. and i thank you for loving me. You'll find every reason to make me smile, and when i cry, You'll cry with me. simply because, You love me. thank you for Your unconditional love.
EDITED PART:
Your Simplicity Fuels My Sophistication, Your Beauty Fuels My Imagination.
By - Neeraj. (Gab's classmate)
awesome sentence. i think, it suits this post, therefore decide to post it. it describes Daddy.
and! i'm so proud of Gab's drawings. :D
Yesterday, i was emo, today i'm happy. and i posted this post yesterday and edited it today. okay. i wrote this to make you stay longer.
BYE! TAG LAR. :P
