wells, im HOME. yep, from school. the touch project thingy. wells, the thing that i love the most abt today, is one sentence of mr tan. he said cip has to be something that comes from your heart. if you just plainly say YES i'll help, just for the sake of saying yes. then, i've got nothing to say. you won't enjoy the process, if all these dont come from your heart. you'll be there, thinking that everything is just stupid, and hoping that time will fly pass and home you go. hey people, we said volunteers, volunteers, we dont force. ((:

by the way, i enjoyed myself today. we went pre-visiting. and the residents are nice lahs, though some have a ferocious look. =\ oh ya! and that Rachel from NYG. you know why! she's like damn funny, i bet you wont pass by here, but i tell you, you're FREAKING FUNNY. Lol, pengs lahs, we practically love you shoot each other lahs. but i do win rights! wahahahas.

alrights, and that's abt it for the cip lahs. everyone agrees that human beings are greedy rights? okays, its not greedy lahs, but they just cant seem to be sastified by the things they have. i mean, im like that too. but why. LOL.

you know, when you have a family loving you, alright may be in a different way. like someone to ask you to study, you'll find them so naggy. and you cant stand them, and you're envy of your frens, having "freedom". as in, their parents dont nag at them. but have you ever thought, those frens of yours may be envy of you too? sometimes, they will just want their parents to nag a bit here and there. and they may not be as fortunate as you thought they are. too much of freedom is not good, too little of it is not good. and this shows, the problems lies between ourselves. we just cant be happy with what we have. we can be, but we just dont.

some things, you might not have it. and the rest have it. you'll feel life is unfair. but, life is like that, you cant control the things that comes and goes. you just can't do anything with it, but to live with it. so, just learn to live your life consciously lahs. like to know the reason of why things happen. to know that, things actually arent that bad lahs. hmms, i shall stop talking abt this ler bahs.


so what if i dont have an earthly father. so what he pass away early than the others, so what. its suppose to be a BIG PROBLEM. a BIG one. well, i still believe that he'll make a difference in my life IF HE IS STILL ALIVE. i believe. its a matter of, will he make it more peaceful, or he'll make it even more atrocious. he may be my listening ear, he may be the one who create more problems in my life. so, things will change lahs. but, he's gone. i cant do anything. i still hope one day he'll climb out of he's grave and says he loves me. but i think, i RUN AWAY LAHS! or faint lahs. so scary. hahahahs. but, im blessed by my heavenly Father. you know, i use to cry and cry, curse and swear. like why the fuck you left us so early. so, your death may due to my curses lahs. haha, no lahs. just joking. but. i no longer, ever since i love my Daddy God. you know why? just because of this : He died for me, for me to LIVE.

tears just flow yesterday at service. because, i felt healing in my heart, i felt Jesus's love. and its like, suddenly. i dont care if my father is still alive not. and suddenly i missed him. the church was celebrating father's day. i felt so blessed, my father is no longer alive. but i exchanged him for the KING of the KINGS, the RICHEST of the RICHEST. and i just felt, im rich. rich with love. really, rich with love. and the feeling is GOOD. (:


im sastified with all the love i have. ((((((: